


Attaché

by lottoverse (unluckyones)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Part Kinks, Breathplay, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Kinks, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, bottom!jongin, top!Sehun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 08:19:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8525674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unluckyones/pseuds/lottoverse
Summary: There were supposed to be no strings attached, but all Jongin became was attached. He didn’t realise when he fell or how hard the thought of Sehun with someone else would hurt, but it does and - he feels numb.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For, A.

Jongin’s busy shitposting on tumblr at 3am in the morning. He’s been in this position for most of the day, lounged out on the couch with his laptop resting upon his thighs. His legs are outstretched onto the coffee table as he smile at a gifset of puppies that remind him of his own ‘kids’ back home.

He ignores the numbness in his legs from not moving throughout the day and doesn’t register the front door opening, or the padding of sock covered feet against the floorboards over the audio streaming from his laptop. Jongin jumps when hands cup his shoulders and he looks up to see Sehun standing over him with a light tug at the end of his lips.

“You’re still up?” Sehun asks as he looks over Jongin’s shoulder and chuckles at the amount of anime littering Jongin’s dash.”

“Can’t sleep.” 

“Don’t stay up too late. I’m going to bed.” Sehun says and Jongin hums, only half taking in of what he’s saying.

It’s around half an hour later when Jongin decides that he’s spent enough time on tumblr for one night. The clock reads 3:35 and he becomes conscious of how his eyelids start to droop. Jongin shuffles his way to his room; the floorboards are cold beneath his feet since it’s the middle of winter and the thought of a warm bed sounds inviting.

Jongin doesn’t turn on the light when he enters his room and blindly feels his way toward his bed and slides under the cover when he finds it. He tries not to jump when an arms circle around his waist to draw him closer.

“Fuck,” Jongin curses. “You scared me.”

Sehun chuckles and buries his face further into Jongin’s neck. “Your feet are cold.” he mumbles into the latter’s skin and tangles their legs together. 

“I hate socks.” Jongin argues and Sehun’s grip tightens.

“I know.” Sehun’s hand is warm on Jongin’s cheek as he turns the latter’s face toward himself.

He can barely see Sehun’s face, only slivers of skin and strands of hair that illuminated from the light that seeps through the cracks of his curtains.

“You went out to eat?” Jongin whispers. He feels Sehun’s thumb run over the swell of his bottom lip and his eyes flutter shut, breath shallow.

Much to his surprise, Sehun chuckles. “Yeah, there was a welcome party for some randoms.”

“I thought you didn’t like people from your university.”

“I don’t.” Sehun says. “But how could I say no to a free meal?”

Jongin hums and exhales when Sehun pulls his chin down to lick into his mouth. He can feel Sehun’s smirk against his skin before he bites into the column of Jongin’s neck, soothing at the indentations that his teeth made with his tongue shortly after. Jongin’s whine is muffled into a kiss that turns sinful at a rapid pace; saliva pools at the corners of their mouths and they plunge deeper into a sea of lust.

The world falls into silence around them and Jongin lets himself be lost in the moment; to the way that Sehun’s tongue curls against his own, the way his fingers comb through Jongin’s hair before his hand moves down to the slope of his neck and then lower. Sehun’s hand then moves away from his face until it ventures under the covers, moving down to the band of his sweat pants and his fingers stroke across the skin there.

“I need to see you.” Sehun says lowly and the hand that is barely past the waistband of Jongin’s pants moves to turn on the lamp on the bedside table. _“Shit.”_ He immediately groans at the sight of Jongin beginning to come undone; eyes hazy, saliva dripping down his chin and breathing shallow.

His hand wanders back down the small of Jongin’s back, past his waistband and smoothing over the curves of his ass before delving between the seam; fingers spreading Jongin’s cheeks apart. The latter gasps and his hips jerk back, cock half hard and chafes against the fabric.

Sehun brings his free hand up to push two fingers past Jongin’s lips, sinking them against his tongue to coat them with saliva. Jongin moans, swirling his tongue around the digits and Sehun groans.

Jongin sucks at Sehun’s fingers and moans when Sehun pushes in deeper. The latter pulls his fingers out, skin grazing across Jongin’s teeth before he slides them back in, this time with a little more force. Jongin can feel Sehun’s cock, hard against his own through the fabric of their bottoms and the friction is delicious.  

Sehun withdraws his fingers from Jongin’s mouth, collecting the saliva that’s gathered in the corners and trails them down to where his other hand has been spreading Jongin open.

Jongin shivers when Sehun’s saliva slicked fingers trace at his rim, liberally coating his entrance in gentle movements. He grips at Sehun’s tank top, hands bunched into the fabric and he paints hot air against damp skin.

Sehun accompanies the gentle kiss against Jongin’s forehead with the pressing of his fingers against Jongin’s entrance; moaning when two of his fingers push past the ring of muscle and continues until he’s knuckle deep.

Jongin hisses when Sehun’s nails rake over the skin of his ass while he stretches Jongin slowly, scissoring his fingers before adding in a third. He would have been more gentle, but he knows that Jongin likes a little bit of pain. Jongin’s spine arches toward Sehun’s chest and the latter drops his head down to let his tongue flick against Jongin’s nipple. Sehun curls his fingers and Jongin spasms. He repeats the action one more time with the addition of a fourth finger.

 _“Sehun-”_ Jongin’s whine is high pitched and the expression on his face makes Sehun’s cock to twitch.

Sehun pulls out slowly and then fucks Jongin a couple of times with just his index finger before he throws the comforter to the end of the bed and shoves Jongin onto his back. He tears Jongin’s pants off before settling between Jongin’s spread legs. He then tugs down his pants far enough so that his cock is free, precome already dribbling down the slit.

He briefly thinks about taking Jongin dry but decides against that thought and reaches over for the lubricant that he knows Jongin keeps in his nightstand. Jongin watches with expectant eyes as Sehun slicks himself up, tongue running across his bottom lip.

Sehun holds his cock in his hand, a lazy smirk on his lips. He spits down at Jongin’s entrance before pushing in. He moans at the wet heat around his length and licks along the bite mark that he made earlier, the imprints starting to bruise. Jongin wraps one leg around Sehun’s waist to draw him in deeper. Sehun’s always been impatient and wastes no time in building up speed, increasing the tempo as he grunts into Jongin’s mouth; and whispers praises into his skin.

Jongin’s nails mark red lines into the pale skin of Sehun’s back, his moans loud in Sehun’s ears. He raises his hips to meet Sehun’s thrusts; the latter growls and lifts up onto his knees and raises Jongin’s hips so that only his upper back has contact with the mattress.

Sehun’s cock is pushed in deeper, and Jongin whimpers when he feels Sehun throb; his own cock twitching against his stomach. His arms lay useless above his head and Sehun likes this look.

He pushes Jongin’s thighs toward his chest, folding him in half to drive into him deeper. “You look so good.” he praises.

Jongin nods and his eyes screw shut. His head jerks back when Sehun’s cockhead drives into his prostate. “ _Fuck_ , there.” he gasps.

Sehun smirks and thrusts faster. He can see Jongin falling apart, trembling beneath him. Sehun rolls his hips twice into the heat of Jongin’s ass as the latter clenches purposely around his cock, trying to pull him over the edge. The pace is relentless and Sehun groans when Jongin comes, a strangled version of his name ripped from Jongin’s throat as he comes over his chest, a few drops landing onto his cheek.

Sehun follows suit, jaw clenched as he spurts come across Jongin’s walls and into his heat, cock twitching until he’s empty. He pulls out and watches as some of his come seeps out of Jongin’s entrace. He collects it with the tip of his finger before pushing it back in and Jongin whines from oversensitivity, although his back arches anyway.

Sehun flops down next to Jongin and they resume their original position from when Sehun had his arm thrown across Jongin’s waist; and the latter lets him. 

“ _Fuck,_ that was something.” Sehun laughs into his skin.

Jongin chuckles lazily. “Yeah… Well you’re lucky that all I’m doing is staying home tomorrow because I think you ripped my ass in half.”

Sehun kisses him as an apology.

(Apology accepted.)

 

__________

 

The convenience store where Jongin works part time isn’t too far from their apartment; it’s a few blocks away and Jongin wouldn’t mind walking there if it wasn’t pouring rain. By the time he enters the store his hair is damp and his jacket is littered with needles of rain that have soaked into the fabric. His workmate, Jongdae, finds it amusing that Jongin ‘looks like a wet puppy’ and makes note of it by patting Jongin’s hair (which earns him a punch in the arm as response).

“Okay, that guy over there,” Jongdae cocks his head and Jongin stops what he’s doing to look at the man in aisle three. He’s looking at different brands of cereal and seems to be deciding between coco puffs and corn flakes. Tuesday nights are fairly slow and Jongdae’s way to pass time is to create stories about customers before they check-out.

“He’s in his mid-twenties,” Jongdae begins. “A single father, judging by his preferences in cereal. His daughter is around five or six. She’s adorable and makes fun of him for not being able to tie her hair properly.”

“What was he like in highschool?” Jongin prompts as the man chooses coco puffs and returns the corn flakes to the shelf.

“Popular.” Jongdae muses. “He could have any girl he wanted but picked the one no one expected. He loved her.”

“How’d she get pregnant?”

“Condom broke.” Jongdae says. “They were planning to keep the baby, but then she decided that she was too young to start a family. He was adamant on not giving up the baby, though. So here he is, six years later basketting a box of coco puffs.”

“I think you’ve been watching too many dramas.”

“Yeah.” Jongdae sighs. “Maybe I have.”

Despite having been in the store for the last half hour or so, the man looks a little lost upon coming to the register with a basket-full of items. He also looks rather tired, Jongin notes. He ponders Jongdae’s theory being true for a fleeting moment whilst bagging the box of coco puffs.

“Have a nice day,” Jongin says as he passes the man his bags. Jongin’s met with soft eyes and a gentle smile that he can’t help but return.

“You too,” He replies with an accented voice that has Jongin guessing his ethnicity.

 

_

 

When Jongin’s on the internet, he’s often lost in his own world. He becomes unaware of his surroundings, easily amused by six second videos and memes rather than the news or documentaries.

The sun begins to set in Jongin’s peripheral vision and the charge on his laptop is running low but he makes no move to get his charger; 15% could probably last him another half an hour or so, so he’s not too worried.

Jongin is lying on his stomach and  jumps when he feels weight on the back of his thighs. He whips his head over his shoulder and Sehun grins at him. “Did you have work today?”

“Yeah.”

Sehun looks over Jongin’s shoulder. “Don’t you have an essay to do?”

“I do. There’s a tab open right there, I’m taking a break.”

“And how long was this break?” Sehun teases and Jongin grunts.

“Shut up.”

Sehun chuckles and moves off Jongin’s thighs to sit next to him, a pleasant hum leaves his lips and Jongin looks away from his laptop screen and raises a brow. “What?”

“Have I ever told you that you have a pretty mouth?” Sehun says and intentionally drops his eyes down to Jongin’s lips, watching the way they pull into a flirtatious smile.

Jongin chuckles and the screen of his laptop dims. “In the mood already?”

“When am I not?”

“You’re not wrong.” Jongin taps a few keys on his laptop and waits for the screen to brighten. He’s got 5% left on his battery life.

He turns away from his laptop and circles a hand around Sehun’s ankle before trailing up his leg, squeezing softly at Sehun’s inner thigh. He’s not surprised that Sehun is already half-hard and massages his bulge.

The friction in Sehun’s jeans causes his hips to roll into the curve of Jongin’s palm. Jongin laughs and unbuttons Sehun’s jeans, pulling down his zipper agonisingly slow and raises a brow once it’s down all the way. “No underwear?”

“I was in a rush this morning.” Sehun grunts as Jongin untucks him from his jeans.

Sehun’s hips jerk as Jongin drags his fingers from the base of his cock to the head. He doesn’t say anything and continues to rile Sehun up. He knows all the ways to get him off quickly, the places that make him come undone but purposely skirts around them; not giving Sehun the relief he needs.

“Tease.”

Jongin meets his gaze before letting his eyes fall back down. He doesn’t say anything and smears the precome that’s gathered at Sehun’s slit down his shaft before tracing along the prominent vein with his finger.

Jongin softly blows warm air against the slit and Sehun’s thighs tense. He peers up through his lashes, eyes not-so-innocently as he presses lips against the head of Sehun’s cock. His hips jerk, cockhead sliding across Jongin’s lips and when the latter pulls away there’s an evident shine that wasn’t there previously. Sehun laughs breathlessly as Jongin continues to assault him. He leans back on his elbows and admires how pretty Jongin looks between his legs.

Jongin holds Sehun’s hips down with his hands as he laps his tongue around the crown before taking Sehun into his mouth. He moans at the weight of Sehun on his tongue and doesn’t miss Sehun’s sharp inhale as his mouth slowly inches closer toward the base. His moans are deep as he lulls his head back onto his spine, eyes closed as Jongin sucks him off.

Jongin runs his tongue from the base to the tip, stopping to briefly graze his teeth over the shaft and Sehun thrusts into his mouth involuntarily; groaning loudly when Jongin decides to swallow immediately afterward. Sehun caresses the outline of his cock through Jongin’s cheek, hissing through his teeth when Jongin swallows again.

“Touch yourself.” Sehun combs his fingers through Jongin’s hair to get his attention.

Jongin slides a hand into his pants and wraps it around his cock, hard in his grip and the head it wet to the touch. He moans at the contact which sends vibrations up Sehun’s length.

“Who knew such pretty lips could hold so much sin?” Sehun asks rhetorically as he thrusts upward. He fists a hand into Jongin’s hair and pushes him down further, so that Jongin can take him in deeper.  Jongin is pliant in his hands, jaw relaxing as Sehun’s cock brushes the back of his throat.

Sehun pulls him off, admiring the way his lips are red, slightly swollen and compliments the glazed look in his eyes. Jongin’s breathing is irregular, head resting on Sehun’s inner thigh as his mouth works around the base, hand pumping down the length of his shaft.

Jongin thrusts into his own fist, knees skidding across the floor slightly and Sehun can’t seem to look away. Jongin’s hand on his dick is barely alleviating the pressure in his balls because he’s not moving it, but the blissed out look on Jongin’s face makes his cock twitch against his stomach anyway. Jongin’s moans echo throughout the apartment and it’s quite a sight. He seems to have remembered his hand on Sehun’s cock and starts moving it again in an attempt to get Sehun on hard and fast (just how Sehun likes it).

Sehun comes into the wet heat of Jongin’s mouth when the latter deepthroats his cock to swallow again; and he takes it all down. Jongin draws away and there's a string of come infused saliva that links Jongin’s lips to his cock.

It seems that Jongin’s already finished himself off before Sehun got the chance to since the former wipes his come stained hand on Sehun’s shirt.

“This was a clean shirt.” Sehun frowns.

Jongin lips the remnants of Sehun on his lips and stands up. “These were clean pants, but now I have to go an wash these and take a shower.”

“Want me to join you?" 

“Not this time.” Jongin chuckles as he begins to walk away. “I think you’ve gotten enough action today.”

 

__________

 

Jongin isn’t one to have friends over (with the exception of Chanyeol) and manages to keep his social life alive by skyping with Kyungsoo when they’re not at university. Even though CHanyeol isn’t gay, he likes giving Jongin attention and acts more like a brother than a friend; he doesn’t really mind and lets Chanyeol dote on him. Jongin leans into him, chest against his back as Chanyeol’s long legs bracket him in. There’s more than enough space on the couch for the both of them to sit comfortably, but neither of them make a move. He doesn’t remember when his carefree _relationship_ with Sehun began, or how Chanyeol found out, but he wasn’t happy about it.

It’s not a lie that Chanyeol doesn't like Sehun and is overprotective over Jongin. But that doesn't stop Sehun from slipping into his bed at night, curling Jongin into his side under the covers, a possessive arm over his waist even though there’s no reason for it; and Jongin lets him, liking the warmth he emits amongst other things. Jongin pretends Chanyeol doesn’t know, and Sehun doesn’t bring it up.

“He’s just using you, you know?” Chanyeol hooks his chin over Jongin’s shoulder.

“I know he is.”

“Then why do you let him?” Chanyeol’s chest rumbles against his back when he talks and Jongin sighs. They've had this conversation too many times before.

“I’m using him too.” Jongin says. “We use each other when we’re horny. It’s a two way thing, Yeol.”

“You could always use me.” Chanyeol offers.

Jongin smiles because he’s too sweet for his own good. He laughs and his hair tickles Chanyeol’s nose. “You’re too straight. It would never work.”

Chanyeol sighs. “I just don't want you to get hurt-”

“I can look after myself, Yeol. Besides, it’s not like I feel anything for Sehun, anyway. It’s purely physical.”

Chanyeol hums, but Jongin knows that he's not satisfied with that justification. Jongin’s been hurt badly in the past and Chanyeol was there to pick up all the pieces. They don’t talk about it much and Chanyeol refuses to let him dwell there. They drop the subject after that, and Jongin plays with Chanyeol’s fingers absentmindedly; feeling across the calluses that formed from years of pressing down onto guitar strings.

“You both look comfortable.” Comes Sehun’s amused voice and both Jongin and Chanyeol turn to find him at the entrance of lounge. There’s a smug look on his face that Jongin knows is pissing Chanyeol off.

He pats Chanyeol’s thigh and whispers, “Behave.” Jongin turns his attention back to Sehun. “How was class?”

“It was alright. There’s a new exchange student.”

“Oh yeah?”

Sehun hums. “He’s Chinese.”

“Ooh, foreign.”

Sehun chuckles. He sits down next to them and Chanyeol’s grip on Jongin tightens a little. “I think you’d get along well.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, he’s into anime.”

 

Jongin logs into skype once Sehun’s in the shower. Although, it seems that Kyungsoo had recently gotten out of the shower; the call connecting whilst he’s in the middle of drying his hair. Kyungsoo hangs the towel around his neck and runs a hand through his damp tendrils.

“Chanyeol came over today.” Jongin begins and Kyungsoo’s interest is piqued.

_“Was Sehun home?”_

“Yeah.”

 _“Ooh…”_ Kyungsoo grimaces _. “How was it?”_

“Yeol was civil.”

 _“That's good to hear.”_ Kyungsoo says and adjusts his camera. _“Are you two still, you know?”_ He finishes awkwardly and hopes Jongin gets the message.

“Yeah. Still getting down and dirty.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. _“I see.”_ He then continues, tone losing it's playful lilt. _“I’m not fully supportive of this thing you got going on. But I guess it's fine as long as you're happy. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”_ Kyungsoo sighs.

Jongin gives him a small smile. “You and Yeol worry too much, I’ll be fine.”

 

__________

 

It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon. The sun casts a soft orange glow into the apartment and Sehun looks more than comfortable; long legs outstretched across the couch as he reclines back into the armrest. It’s clear that he’s got no intentions of going out, more than happy to spend the night in his current position. But it’s been a boring couple weeks and although Jongin is one for relaxing in the comfort of his own home, he can’t help but feel restless. Unlike most men his age, Jongin isn’t against the concept of romance movies and there’s a new release in the cinema that’s caught his eye. He’s contemplated the idea of going alone, but he’d really rather not.

“Sehun,” Jongin begins.

“Hm?” Sehun hums back half-heartedly as he keeps his attention focused on the television.

“Let’s go out.”

Sehun looks away from eh screen with little reluctance before he looks over the back of the couch. “What, why?”

“I want to watch a movie.”

“Can’t you just stream it?” Sehun stretches his arms over his head, yawning as he does so. “It’s cheaper.”

“It’s not the same thing.” Jongin frowns.

“Why don’t you take Chanyeol with you?” Sehun suggests. “I’m sure he’d be down for some one on one quality bro time.”

“He lives on the other side of the city. I don’t want to bother him.”

“You’re bothering me.”

“Come on, Sehun.” Jongin whines. “I’m so bored.”

“Really now?” Sehun cocks a brow with a slight smirk on his lips. “I can show you a good time without leaving this apartment-”

“No,” Jongin cuts him off. “I’d like to be able to sit through my lecture tomorrow without my ass throbbing, thanks.”

“You’re no fun.” Sehun pouts.

“Says you.” Jongin scoffs. “Come on, I’ll shout. Food and everything.”

 

Jongin’s bribery ended up coaxing Sehun out of the apartment and into civilisation. He keeps true to his promise and (reluctantly) pays for both of their tickets (drinks and popcorn included). The movie was everything he expected it to be and wasn’t too surprised to look over and find Sehun sleeping into his hand.

“I can’t believe you fell asleep.” Jongin says once they walk out of the cinema.

Sehun yawns and stretches his arms over his head. “It wasn’t my type of movie.”

“I’m aware.” Jongin side eyes him with a blunt voice. “Alright, what do you want to eat?”

“Anything I want?”

Jongin sighs. “Anything you want.”

The city streets are lively, bustling with people and the pair walk side by side, shoulders pressed together as the wind blows cold on their faces. Sehun bumps his shoulder into Jongin which causes the latter to lose his footing.

He sends Sehun a glare. “Rude.” Jongin mutters and Sehun chuckles.

 

“Well here we are.” Sehun says after some time.

“Really?” Jongin looks at him with a blank expression. “The one time I’m _willing_ to shout you something, you pick this.”

 _“What?!”_ Sehun looks offended and places a hand over his heart. “Excuse me, Jongin, but bubble tea is the eighth wonder of the world.”

“Are you _sure_ this is what you want?” Jongin says and stresses the word ‘sure’ for extra measure.

“I mean I’d rather have you, but this is the next best thing.” Sehun says with an exaggerated sigh before giving Jongin a smirk.

“Go and buy your goddamn bubble tea.” Jongin rolls his eyes and kicks the back of Sehun’s knees, laughing when the latter stumbles.

 

Sehun insists on finishing his beverage in-store rather than taking it away. Either way, Jongin’s happy to get some time out of the apartment. They’re seated in the corner of the shop, knees pressed together underneath the table. There are a group of girls not too far from where they are seated who are talking amongst themselves whilst looking at them. They seem surprised when they find Jongin meeting their gazes. He flashes them a soft smile before turning away.

“Those girls are looking at us.” Jongin says.

Sehun tilts his head before looking past Jongin and the latter raises a brow once Sehun looks back at him, because there’s mischievousness in his eyes. He makes a motion with his hand for Jongin to come closer.

“What?”

“I have to tell you something.”

Jongin sighs and leans forward so that Sehun can whisper into his ear. What Jongin doesn’t expect is for Sehun to kiss him instead, lips plush against each other in the middle of the shop.

Jongin is stunned for a moment before pulling away, chair scraping across the floor and he looks around to see if anyone saw. The group of girls also appear to be stunned, the blushes on their faces reflect the one on Jongin’s and Sehun’s laughter echoes loud into the store.

“You can’t do that here.” Jongin reminds him with a hiss.

“Well I just did,” Sehun sing-songs, “And you were right, those girls were looking at us.”

“I just- You know what? Never mind.” Jongin says as he sinks into his seat and the door bell chimes at the sound of more people coming into the store.

Sehun chuckles and sips happily on his drink, rather satisfied for embarrassing (them both) Jongin. “Wait,” Sehun says around his straw. “I think I know them." 

“The girls?”

Sehun scoffs. “No, not them.” He squints across the few tables between them before yelling, “Luhan!”

‘Luhan’ turns at the sound of his name and a smile blossoms onto his face once his eyes find Sehun. He makes his way over after excusing himself from the group he was standing with, smile never leaving his face.

He’s pretty. A feminine touch on rather manly features that leaves Jongin staring for a bit too long. Luhan seems to notice and flashes Jongin a smile to which the latter returns an awkward smile of his own.

“Hi.”

Jongin blinks. “Hey.”

“So Sehun, is this your boyfriend?” Luhan teases; Jongin’s eyes widen and Sehun scoffs.

“No, he’s not.” Sehun grunts and takes another sip of his drink. “This is Jongin.”

“You’re the roommate?” Luhan asks.

“Yeah,” Jongin replies. “You’re the exchange student?”

“Correct.” Luhan clicks his fingers and gives Jongin a grin. He then moves over to ruffle Sehun’s hair.

“Can you not?” Sehun shoves Luhan’s hand off, “I almost regret calling you over here.”

Luhan rolls his eyes and gives Jongin a sympathetic look. “I don't know how you put up with him.”

 

The night is quiet. The faint sound of crickets chirping seeps through the small opening of the window. Although the sound pricks at Jongin’s consciousness, it’s not enough to make him want to get out from the comfort of his bed. It’s warm under the covers and he doubts that Sehun would let him get up anyway, not with the hold he has on Jongin’s waist.

“Jongin,” Sehun begins, voice muffled into the back of Sehun’s shirt. Jongin hums to show that he’s still listening. “Why does Chanyeol hate me?”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Jongin says and draws his legs closer to his chest.

“Well he doesn’t like me.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Thought so.” Sehun muses. “I don’t think I did anything to piss him off..”

“You didn’t,” Jongin exhales and rolls over so that they’re face to face. Sehun slides his hands under Jongin’s shirt to throw an arm across his waist, whilst he slides the other under Jongin’s head. There’s no sexual intent present and Jongin relaxes in his hold. “It’s just that some stuff happened in the past that makes him paranoid.”

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story, Sehun.”

“We have all night.”

Jongin hesitates, but Sehun’s palm on his lower back is comforting. “I fell in love once. He was older than me. We went on dates and all of that stuff couples do. I fell pretty hard, too.” He pauses. “I don't know. I guess I saw it coming, I mean - who didn’t? We were both from different worlds and I guess I was too young at the time to give him everything.”

“I don’t get it.” Sehun says softly.

“He had someone else. And I was the one he was seeing on the side.” Jongin laughs bitterly.

“Oh, fuck."

Jongin chuckles. “It’s fine. It was a long time ago, anyway.”

“How old were you?” Sehun asks, not sure if he overstepped the boundary.

“Around seventeen, maybe?”

“What about him?”

“Twenty-five.”

“I didn’t know you were into older men.” Sehun says.

Jongin shrugs. “Age doesn’t really matter to me. It’s the experience that counts. Although he played me, I don’t want to forget the good times, because there were many. At least the sex was good.” He adds at the end, an afterthought that he thinks Sehun would find funny.

Sehun doesn’t find it funny and frowns into the darkness. “He’s overprotective, I get it. It’s a good thing that he is. You trust people too easily.”

“Are you saying that I shouldn’t trust you?”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“I know. I’m just teasing you.” Jongin says playfully.

“Chanyeol’s worried that I’m going to play you?”

Jongin hums, “I’m not worried, though. Since there’s no strings attached, right?”

“Yeah…” Sehun trails off.

“Sometimes I wish he wasn’t so overprotective, though. I know how too look after myself.” Jongin says. “What about you? Have you had any heartbreaks worth talking about?”

“I’d like to say yes - but I haven’t.” Sehun clears his throat. “I was the one who did the heartbreaking in high school.”

Jongin laughs and moves to straddle Sehun’s hips, pinning his wrists beside his head. The light that streams in through the blinds illuminate Jongin’s face, the way his hair falls into his eyes and his smile is gentle, albeit teasing. “Don’t be surprised one day if I break your heart instead, Sehun.”

“I doubt it.” Sehun says and Jongin cocks his head to the side, and his shirt slips off his shoulder slightly. “No strings attached, remember?” Sehun reminds him.

The smile is still present on Jongin’s lips as he leans down to whisper against Sehun’s lips. “No strings attached.”

Sehun chuckles, a flicker of a smirk on his lips as he rolls them over. He hovers over Jongin in a position they’ve been in countless times before, once the day dies down and the need for physical connection is high. Jongin’s always known of Sehun’s fascination for his mouth and makes a show of it by licking over his lips in a sensual manner. He immediately sees how Sehun’s eyes darken, the heaving of his chest more apparent as his eyes follow Jongin’s tongue. He parts his lips, breathing shallowly as Sehun snakes his tongue in, following the same pace that Jongin set for himself moments prior.

The heat rises in the room, a gradual increase in temperature as Sehun slots his leg between Jongin’s; knee presses against the base of Jongin’s crotch whilst still devouring his mouth. Although Sehun’s already explored every inch of Jongin’s body, that doesn’t stop his hand from wandering; from the curve of his cheek, down the column of his neck, to his chest and over the exposed skin of his stomach from where his shirt’s risen up. Jongin shivers, a light moan on the end of is exhale as Sehun tugs his shirt off his frame. He watches as Sehun discards his own and Jongin traces across the defined muscles of his abdomen, liking the way they tense and flex beneath his fingertips.

Sehun’s skin is warm to the touch, eyes burning as they stare into his own. A sea of lust swims in his irises, pupils blown into an expanse of darkness that Jongin’s enthralled by.

“Beautiful,” Sehun says as he stares down at the way Jongin’s spread out beneath him, eyes raking over Jongin’s form. “Look at how your body reacts to me.” He places his palm on tanned skin and Jongin’s back arches, chest rising to seek the warmth that his touch brings.

Sehun’s hand travels up from his chest and back to his face where he cups Jongin’s cheek in a gentle movement. A whine leaves Jongin’s throat, baring his neck when Sehun creates friction with his knee. Jongin hisses when Sehun’s bites down onto his neck just hard enough for the dull pain to be enough to make his dick twitch.

“Fuck,” Sehun breathes past his lips, fingers working busily to pull the drawstrings to his sweats undone.

Jongin aids him by shoving the fabric down the length of his legs, boxer briefs still on and there’s a proud smirk on Sehun’s lips once his eyes meet the wet patch of precome that’s soaked the front. Jongin would have been more embarrassed, but the hungry look on Sehun’s face while observing his body causes more precome to ooze from the slit and seep through the fabric.

Sehun inhales sharply, another string of profanities leave his lips as he smears the substance with his fingers, moaning lowly to himself once he feels how hard Jongin is.

Jongin sees it too, the visible tent in Sehun’s boxers that causes the fabric to curve toward his stomach. He leans up on his elbows, licking across Sehun’s bottom lip before biting, pulling lightly with his teeth before he falls back against the sheets. Sehun stares for a bit before he moves back toward the edge of the bed, pulling down Jongin’s boxer briefs as he goes. Jongin’s fully exposed and he looks up at Sehun, eyes hooded as he anticipates what’s coming next.

Sehun lies on his stomach and smooths his hands up Jongin’s legs, massaging into the firm flesh of his thighs before he hooks Jongin’s legs over his shoulders.

Jongin’s breathing quickens as Sehun’s breath ghosts across his inner thighs. Sehun’s eyes don’t leave his either, they’re intense as he presses open mouthed kisses across his skin, inching closer toward his erect length as he progresses.

What he expects is for Sehun to lick down the length of his cock, which he does, but he doesn’t expect for Sehun to go lower, past his balls until his breath is warm over Jongin’s entrance.

“Wait, what are you-”

Sehun hums and looks up from between his legs, tongue licking at his rim and Jongin jerks, a surprised moan leaves his lips and he dares to look back down. Sehun runs his tongue over his lips just for show before venturing lower.

Jongin tears his eyes away, head thrown back against the pillows and he covers his eyes with his forearms. It doesn’t matter how much he prepares himself, because it does nothing to stop his body from reacting the way it does. His back arches high off the mattress when Sehun prods Jongin’s rim with the wet muscle of his tongue. There’s not much that Jongin’s opposed to when it comes to sex, but this position leaves Jongin vulnerable, body subject to the predatory look in Sehun’s eyes.

“Sehun,” The dusting of pink is heavy on his cheeks as he tries to push Sehun away, “Stop.”

“Why should I?” Sehun’s voice is husky, deep in Jongin’s ears. He runs his hand up to Jongin’s chest, flicking his thumb across his nipple and he presses a kiss against tanned skin when Jongin whines. “Pass the slick.”

Jongin reaches underneath the pillow and there’s a half empty bottle of lubricant beneath his head. He passes it to Sehun with a shaky hand and hears the sound of the lid clicking open. The lubricant is cold against his entrance, but the return of Sehun’s tongue is warm and Jongin shivers; fingers tangling into Sehun’s hair as he moans loud into the night. He can _feel_ Sehun smirking against his skin as he pushes two fingers in. Jongin hisses. His legs threaten to close but Sehun elbows his legs open wider so his fingers and his mouth have better access.

Sehun flicks his tongue fast, working his fingers at the same pace and he watches Jongin come undone. The whine that bubbles from his throat is high pitched and his cock twitches against his stomach when Sehun curls his fingers the right way; to make his toes curl and his fingers wring into the sheets. Sehun’s name falls like a mantra from Jongin’s lips, sweat matting his hair to his forehead and leaving a light sheen over his body.

Sehuun retracts his fingers, which is followed by a lewd noise that leaves Jongin gaping around air. “Get on your hands and knees.”

Jongin’s knees feel weak, but he complies. He hangs his head and his shoulders tense when Sehun slides his fingers back in and he turns Jongin’s head toward himself with a light grip on his chin. The former’s breath is moist over his lips and Jongin parts them to let Sehun kiss him thoroughly.

Sehun stretches him slowly, maddeningly _slow_ , and Jongin moans into Sehun’s mouth; knees sliding further apart as he struggles to keep himself up. His upper body collapses into the bed as Sehun continues the assault on his prostate, each drag of his fingers slower than the previous.

 _“Sehun,”_ Jongin’s voice is barely above a whisper. It’s a short plea that makes Sehun pause before he once again retracts his fingers, curling them on the way out. He presses a light kiss against the base of Jongin’s spine before settling onto his knees. Jongin hears Sehun slicking himself up and pushes back once he feels the head of Sehun’s cock against his rim. It’s not hard enough to push Sehun inside, but it’s enough to make him moan involuntarily.

Sehun pushes his hips forward so that his cock moves past the first ring of muscles and doesn’t stop until he’s fully sheathed, buried into Jongin at the hilt. The warmth enveloping his cock is suffocating and Jongin starts moving on his own, pushing himself back in short movements and Sehun groans.

Jongin feels Sehun’s hands tighten on his hips and he makes the mistake of looking over his shoulder. There’s a smirk that pulls high on Sehun’s lips. Sweat pools in his clavicles as he meets Jongin halfway, thrusting forward whilst Jongin rocks back. His cockhead goes straight to Jongin’s prostate and his knees spread further apart.

Jongin reaches behind himself and pulls Sehun down by his hand to drape the latter over his back. Sehun runs his teeth over the swell of Jongin’s shoulder before biting into his skin as he simultaneously circles slender fingers around Jongin’s cock. In response, Jongin clenches around him and a stuttered moan filters through Sehun’s ears.

“So fucking good.” Sehun whispers. “Are you close?”

“Yeah,” is Jongin’s breathy reply.

“You should come.”

“Make me.” Jongin challenges and hisses when Sehun rubs his thumb over the slit of Jongin’s cock hard before running his hand down his erection twice.

“Okay.” Sehun licks down his neck before breathing in deep. He trusts in hard and fast on his exhale, causing them to move up the mattress a little and Jongin yelps. He repeats the action and Jongin’s back arches, jaw slack as he lets Sehun drive him to his orgasm.

“More,” Jongin breathes, vision blurry from the tears clinging to his lashes. Sehun drags his nails down Jongin’s spine; they end up at the base of his neck and Jongin’s eyes roll back when Sehun puts pressure there. “Fuck,” he says with the little breath he has left.

Sehun hums in agreement. He continues to hold Jongin in place as his hips continue to snap forward, the pace increasing as he’s close to reaching his limit.

Jongin cums untouched, moan muffled into the pillow as he spurts come onto the comforter below. Sehun follows soon after, head thrown back as he releases into slick heat.

Panting is the only thing to be heard above the silence as they slowly come down from their high. Jongin mewls when Sehun pulls out and the latter groans softly before falling beside Jongin. Their skin is damp and Jongin makes a distasteful face once their skin touch.

“I feel gross.” Jongin says once his breathing evens out.

“Are you bothered to wash up?”

Jongin sighs. “Nah. I can’t feel my legs.”

“You were the one who initiated this, not me.” Sehun laughs at Jongin’s weak attempt to hit him. “What are you going to do tomorrow?”

“I’ll skip tomorrow,” Jongin yawns, “It’s only an afternoon class anyway.”

Sehun brings a hand up to cup his cheek. He pinches it lightly before inching closer to kiss him. It’s soft - a light press of lips on Jongin’s before Sehun pulls away.

“What was that for?” Jongin asks, mildly confused.

“Just wanted to.” he rests his forehead against Jongin’s. “Sorry for asking,” he pauses. “About your past.”

“It’s fine. You didn’t know.” Jongin says. He hums and shifts, tucking the comforter under his feet. “It’s in the past anyway, it’s not like it matters anymore.”

 

__________

 

From: Sehun

Make sure you’re decent

I’m bringing company over

 

To: Sehun

You have friends?

 

From: Sehun

Haha very funny.

 

Jongin notes the sarcasm and chuckles to himself. He scans the apartment and sighs at the sight of a few stray shirts and abandoned dishes left on the coffee table. He reluctantly gets up and collects the tableware and makes a bee-line for the kitchen, throwing the shirts over his shoulder as he goes.

The dishes clatter into the sink and the shirts make their way into the hamper with little effort and Jongin’s thankful that he didn’t have too much to do. He takes a look at himself in the bathroom mirror and thinks back to the last time that he’s taken a shower. After running a hand through his hair, he decides that it would be best to take a shower to look somewhat presentable.

Jongin picks up a shirt and he’s not sure if it’s his or Sehun’s. He shrugs the shirt on and shimmies into some shorts (also not sure if their his or Sehun’s). His hair is damp to the touch but it does little to deter him from going back to the couch and resuming the position he was in prior to Sehun’s messages.

Jongin’s in the middle of reblogging a gifset when the front door swings open and the sound of people talking streams into the lounge. He shuts his laptop once the voices get close enough and he turns his head to find Sehun and Luhan conversing happily to themselves before they notice him.

It’s Luhan who notices Jongin first and he grins at Jongin with the same smile from when they first met. “Hey, Jongin.”

“Hey yourself,” Jongin says back. His eyes then make their way down to the take away bag in Sehun’s hand. “You bought food?”

“Yeah.” Sehun holds out the bag for Jongin to take. “I thought you’d be in the mood for chicken.”

“You know me so well.”

“Of course I do,” Sehun scoffs and a frown settles onto his features. “Is that my shirt?”

Jongin looks down at himself for reference before shrugging. “No clue. I just threw on the first thing I saw.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Sehun turns to Luhan. “Want something to drink.”

“Water would be great.”

Despite Jongin’s numerous attempts to deter Luhan from helping him with washing the dishes, the latter insists on lending a hand. They end up shoulder to shoulder, crowded around the two basin sink as Jongin washes, with Luhan rinsing and drying.

“Sehun should be helping.” Luhan chides and holds a cup under the faucet.

“It’s fine,” Jongin gives him a small smile. “It’s something I enjoy. I find it therapeutic in a way.”

Luhan nods before talking again. “How long have you known Sehun for?”

“A couple of years now. He needed a roommate and I needed somewhere to live after moving out of home.”

Luhan chuckles. “I see, I see.”

“Your Korean is pretty good for a foreigner-” Jongin pauses after passing Luhan a plate. “Ah, sorry, that was rude of me-”

“It’s fine, I get it a lot.” Luhan laughs. “I spent some time here growing up.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” Luhan turns to him and laughs sheepishly. “I wanted to be an idol when I was younger.” He then cocks his head toward the lounge room. “Don’t tell Sehun, though. He’d never let me live it down.”

Jongin chuckles. “Yeah, he’s kind of a dick.” He says jokingly. “I got you.”

 

Jongin’s not tired and even though it’s nearing 2am he’s lying on his stomach and watching videos on his laptop which he perched up on the pillow. Sehun is next to him and his eyes follow when Jongin opens tumblr. “Luhan’s nice.”

“He is.”

“I was surprised,” Jongin says and stops to momentarily read some text before scrolling past it. “You usually never bring anyone home.”

“You have Chanyeol over all the time, so I figured that I should expand my circle. It isn’t fun fighting for your attention.” Sehun teases.

“H _aha_ , very funny.” Jongin replies sarcastically as he exits tumblr and goes onto youtube.

Sehun hums and closes his eyes, letting out an content exhale; being lulled to sleep by the soft glow of Jongin’s screen (only because he was kind enough to dim the brightness).

 

__________

 

Luhan frequents the apartment after his first visit. On most days he comes back with Sehun after their classes finish and on other days he drops by with food when Sehun wants to hang out. Jongin likes Luhan’s company and doesn’t mind coming home to a cooked meal instead of having take-out all the time since the latter can cook (and unfortunately, Jongin and Sehun can’t).

“I’m going out.” Sehun pulls a hoodie over his head and musses a hand through his hair as he walks into the lounge.

Jongin looks up from his laptop. “Where are you going?”

“I’m meeting Luhan for a movie in a bit.” Sehun buckles his belt and heads for the direction of the shoe rack. “We might get something to eat afterwards, too.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Sehun hums. “Want to come?”

Jongin’s pauses to think, lips pulling into a light frown at the thought of assignments amongst other things and he sighs. “I’m gonna pass. I have an essay to write.”

Sehun gives Jongin a sympathetic smile. “Unlucky.”

“Tell me about it.”

Sehun looks over Jongin’s shoulder and scoffs at the amount of words he’s written on his current thesis (which is less than doubt digits). “When’s it due?”

“Friday.”

“Two days is quite a stretch don’t you think? How many words do you have to write?”

“Two-thousand.” Jongin groans.

Sehun chuckles and ruffles Jongin’s hair. “You’ll be fine, I know it.” He takes a quick glance at the clock. “I’d love to stay and give you words of encouragement, but I have to go.”

Jongin waves a hand at him. “Okay, see you later. Bring back food.”

“I’m not making any promises.”

(Despite not making any promises, Sehun brings home McDonalds.)

 

__________

 

Wednesday is when Jongin and Kyungsoo meet up during their break; Kyungsoo has a morning lecture and Jongin has one in the afternoon, so they meet up at lunch and eat together before parting ways. They’re seated in the food court and Jongin pokes half-heartedly at the unsalted chips that came with his burger so he picks at Kyungsoo’s salad; flinching when the latter tries to swat his hand away.

“So, what’s new with you?” Kyungsoo asks and takes his fork back from Jongin.

“You saw me last week.”

“Hey, I’ve been swamped with assignments so a week feels like years.” Kyungsoo says and his shoulders slump a little.

Jongin chuckles. “Nothing really. I reached eight-hundred followers on tumblr.”

Kyungsoo’s brows raise a little. “I’m impressed. All that sitting around at home is finally paying off.”

“Shut it.” Jongin snaps but he’s not offended because Kyungsoo’s right. “Sehun’s started bringing home a friend.”

“Really now?”

“Mhm,” Jongin hums. “Luhan’s… nice.”

“Nice?” Kyungsoo repeats once he catches Jongin’s tone and slight hesitation.

“I think there’s something going on between them.”

“Is that a problem?” Kyungsoo leans his chin in his hand. “I mean, it shouldn’t be since you guys are just friends with benefits, right?”

“Yeah…” Jongin trails off.

 

_

 

Jongin sheds his rain-soaked jacket after he closes the front door. It’s cold outside and he’s more than happy to be in the warmth and tries to breath life back into his frozen fingers. He almost trips upon entering the living room and is started at the sight of Luhan curled under Sehun’s arm as they watch television. Jongin’s stunned and spends a moment suspended in the doorway, not really knowing what he’s feeling.

“Are you still awake?” Sehun’s voice is ridden with sleep and he moves closer to get some of Jongin’s body heat.

“Yeah,” Jongin sighs and continues to stare up at the ceiling. “I was just thinking.”

“You think too much.” Sehun says and closes his eyes.

Jongin rolls onto his side so that they’re face to face and he thinks about how many times they’ve been in this position before. Even in the darkness he can see the sharpness of Sehun’s features, and he lets his eyes linger.

Sehun eyes open. The faint sound of passing cars on the street below fills the silence between them and Sehun stares back. Jongin sees concern on his face.

Jongin’s voice quiet. “Can you kiss me?”

Sehun doesn't look fazed in the slightest. He doesn't question it either. He brings a hand up to Jongin’s face, smoothing his thumb across the swell of his cheek. Jongin lets his eyes flutter shut as Sehun leans in, letting himself freefall into the warmth that spreads through his body when their lips touch. He tangles his fingers into Sehun’s hair and smiles a little when Sehun inhales sharply.

Sehun parts Jongin’s lips with his tongue, hand moving down to Jongin’s waist to pull him closer. Their mouths move together languidly and the pads of Sehun’s fingers press into the small of his back.

It’s Jongin who pulls away first but Sehun is the first to speak.

“Everything okay?”

“Just uni stuff.” Jongin lies.

“Stressed?”

“Yeah…” Jongin sighs. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” Sehun mumbles into Jongin’s hair. “Don’t stress too much.”

 

__________

 

Jongin notices it. As the months pass, so does the distance between them. It isn’t anything major, but it’s there. Sehun isn’t as close as he used to be. But his presence still lingers in Jongin’s sheets and something stirs in his chest. Jongin tries to fight the feeling away, convincing himself that it isn’t jealousy.

Because there’s no strings attached.

 

__________

 

“Hey man, are you alright?” Jongdae says as he opens the register just for fun. The store is relatively quiet today and so is Jongin.

“Yeah, why?”

“You seem kinda out of it lately.” Jongdae yawns and leans against the register. “Thought that something was up.”

“You wouldn’t be interested, anyway. It’s some personal stuff.”

Jongdae’s eyes light up. “I love gossip.”

“I’m sure you do.” Jongin says blandly.

“Is it a boy?” Jongdae asks and Jongin shoots him a look. “Sorry, is it a girl?” Jongin doesn’t reply and Jongdae cups his shoulder. “Hey man, I don’t judge. I don’t really care if you like taking it up the ass or not.”

Jongin sighs. “It’s a boy.”

“You’re into that?” Jongdae’s brows raise slightly.

“Yeah.”

“Never expected you to sway to gay, but it’s completely cool with me.” Jongdae grins and Jongin chuckles. “Okay, so what happened.”

Jongin hesitates but the other motions for him to continue with his hand. “I’m sleeping with my roommate-”

“Like friends with benefits?” Jongdae asks. When Jongin hums in response Jongdae whistles. “Nice. But what’s the problem?”

“I think he’s found someone new and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“Do you like him?”

“I don’t know.” He says truthfully.

He’s quite thankful for Jongdae’s curious nature to keep his mind busy and spends the rest of his shift explaining the wonders of gay sex between serving customers (whilst being mindful of children).

 

__________

 

It’s already late into the evening once Jongin steps foot into the apartment. It’s been a long day and he has yet to sort his feelings out. He runs a tired hand through his hair after toeing off his shoes and shuffling his way to his room. He stops at the entrance of the lounge.

Sehun and Luhan are on the couch. Sehun is in between Luhan’s legs, the latter’s fingers tangled into his hair with his leg over Sehun’s hip. They appear lost in the moment, unaware of Jongin’s presence and he watches as Sehun’s tongue snakes into Luhan’s mouth.

Jongin’s stunned and he drops his jacket to the floor. The soft thud of the fabric hitting the floorboards gets their attention and Jongin doesn’t like the feeling that stirs in his chest. He feels sick.

“You’re home.” Is the first thing that Sehun says, but makes no move to get off of Luhan. His hair is dishevelled and his shirt is shunted over his shoulder.

“Hey, Jongin,” Luhan says with a light laugh. “We didn’t notice you there-”

“Get out.” Jongin says. His lips are pulled into a tight line and he can feel the anger rise in his body.

“What?” The confusion is evident on Luhan’s face.

“Get out.” He says a little bit louder this time and Sehun sits up on his knees.

“Jongin, what the fuck?” Sehun frowns.

Jongin feels angry tears well in his eyes and Luhan sits up a little. “Get _out!”_ He yells. “Get out of my apartment!”

“Jongin, you’re being stupid-”

“Sehun,” Luhan interrupts. “It’s fine, I’ll go.” He slides out from under Sehun and fixes his shirt. He walks toward the front door and stops momentarily at Jongin’s side but continues to walk until he’s out the door.

Once Luhan’s out of the apartment Jongin ignores the look on Sehun’s face. “Jongin.”

He pretends not to hear Sehun’s voice and heads for his room. He also pretends not to hear Sehun’s sigh, but is jerked back by the grip on his wrist.

“What the fuck was that?”

He doesn’t answer and frees himself from Sehun’s grip, he looks up at Sehun briefly before turning to leave and isn’t surprised that the latter is following him. He makes it to his room and tries to block Sehun out; but he’s unsuccessful and he’s trapped between Sehun and his bedroom door.

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” Jongin asks, feigning innocence.

Sehun sighs. "You don't know?"  
  
"I don't."  
  
"Alright." Sehun takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair before he turns to leave. "I'm going to bed."  
  
Jongin slumps back against the his bedroom door and exhales. It's not that Jongin doesn't like Luhan but- it's complicated in his mind.

"You know what? No." It's clear that Sehun's pissed off as he turns back around and narrows his eyes at Jongin.  "I don't know what your problem is, Jongin."  
  
"I don't have a problem-"  
  
"Sure you don't." Sehun rolls his eyes. "I've had Luhan over countless times before, but today you had a massive fit and kicked him out-"  
  
"I don't exactly appreciate coming home to see my roommate with his tongue down someone's throat on my couch." Jongin crosses his arms over his chest.  
  
Sehun's quiet for a while after that, but the anger doesn't subside from his irises. "What do you have against Luhan?"  
  
"I have nothing against Luhan." Jongin snaps and Sehun doesn't flinch.  
  
"Then why did you kick him out?!" Sehun raises his voice.  
  
"Fuck off, Sehun." Jongin pushes himself off the door, not wanting to deal with this at the moment.  
  
Sehun's hand slams next to the area beside Jongin's head; in turn, caging him against the door. They don't say anything for a while and Jongin diverts his gaze to the floor.  
  
He feels warm breath on his cheek and Jongin lifts his head to find Sehun looking straight back at him. He doesn't know how much time has passed; maybe a few minutes, or maybe a few seconds, but Sehun’s eyes are searching for something. A frown flickers on his features before it fades back into his neutral expression.

Jongin tenses as Sehun leans in, the latter's breath ghosting across his lips; Sehun's forearm now leaning against the door above Jongin's head. His eyes widen because Sehun's dangerously close.

He knows what's coming but Jongin freezes anyway when Sehun presses his lips against his own. It's brief, like a fleeting thought and then Sehun draws away as if stunned with himself.

“What?-”  
  
"Shut up." Sehun hisses.

“Sehun-”

“Don’t talk.”  
  
Jongin's cheeks are warm. It's been months since he's kissed Sehun and he doesn't know what to do, or how to feel. He doesn't know why Sehun did it, or why he's leaning back in a second time. His lips slant over Jongin's in a practiced movement that they've done so many times in the past; reminiscent of winter nights and lazy afternoons.  
  
Sehun's testing, tongue tracing across his bottom lip and prodding at the seam of his mouth. Jongin relaxes his jaw and Sehun's tongue snakes in, curling against his own and Jongin's eyelids flutter shut. He feels Sehun's hand on his hip; warm,  reassuring.  
  
The pace increases and Sehun presses Jongin further into the door; knee nudging his thighs apart as his hand travels up, toying with the hem of Jongin's shirt before it slips under the fabric. Sehun feels up Jongin's side and presses into the grooves of his ribcage with the pads of his fingers.

And Jongin lets him.  
  
This is wrong. They both know it, but Jongin can't bring himself to stop Sehun, and the latter is showing no intentions of doing so. He licks into Jongin's mouth as his hand slides down Jongin's torso and toward the small of his back. He draws lazy circles there with his fingers before they inch down toward the waistband of Jongin's sweats. Jongin's breath hitches, body tensing when he feels the rumble of Sehun's chest as he groans; the former more than aware of Sehun's hardening length against his hip.  
  
Jongin brings a hand up to push at Sehun's shoulder but falters when Sehun grinds against him, so instead he grips into the fabric of Sehun's shirt.  
  
"Sehun," Jongin's voice is breathy, as he leans his head against Sehun's shoulder; trying not to moan at the feeling of Sehun mouthing behind his ear and down his neck. Sehun hums in response. "This- We should stop-"  
  
Sehun halts his actions and Jongin looks up. Sehun's pupils are dilated, glazed black and Jongin hasn't seen this look in a long time. "Stop?" Sehun asks. Jongin doesn't answer and Sehun continues talking. "Do you want to stop?" Jongin bites his bottom lip, not missing the way Sehun's eyes follow.  
  
"You're with Luhan, aren't you?"  
  
"We aren't official." Sehun mumbles against Jongin's lips; drinking in the moan that he entices from the latter.  
  
"That-" Jongin gasps when Sehun's hand trails down his front and cups his bulge. "That doesn't make things any better. We should stop." Jongin doesn't say anything for a while. He stares back at Sehun, unsure of what to say and settles for silence.  
  
"What if I don't want to stop?" Sehun says.  
  
Jongin breathes in. "What if I don't stop you? It's not fair, Sehun.” his hand falls away from Sehun’s shirt. “It's not fair to me or Luhan."  
  
Sehun is taken aback by Jongin's answer and he pulls away; eyes hardening over and he frowns. "I'm going to bed." Sehun says for the second time of the night and turns to leave.

But this time he doesn't come back.  
  
  
Jongin spends several hours after that staring at the television screen, rather than watching; not really absorbing the content.

Luhan and Sehun aren’t official, but they’re getting there and that in itself is a scary thought. Despite their carefree relationship, Jongin was never official with Sehun, but there are nights when Jongin misses the closeness, the warmth of another body in his bed.

He envies Luhan.

  
"Pathetic." Jongin mumbles to himself and flops back onto the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the light.

 

__________

 

Jongin tries to drown out his thoughts with work. However the textbooks sprawled out in front of nothing to pique his attention and he's left staring at the fine print; not processing anything. He hasn't talked to Sehun in a couple of weeks, it's more than obvious that he's been avoiding his roommate but he can’t face Sehun without his emotions getting the better of him.

Sehun’s had Luhan over a couple of times after that. He tries to avoid Luhan’s attempts in small talk. Jongin can tell the latter is trying to amend their damaged friendship (could he even call it that?), but Luhan’s attempts do nothing to ease Jongin’s conscience since Sehun pressed him up against a wall and fucked his tongue into his mouth not too long ago. He supposes that Sehun didn't tell Luhan about it and the guilt is eating Jongin alive.

Chanyeol’s noticed the subtle change in Jongin’s attitude, making comments on it during their time spent together. His concern is obvious, but the latter evades his questions, placing the blame on assignments. He’s not exactly lying to Chanyeol, either. His workload has increased in the past few weeks and even though he doesn't want to, he’d rather focus on that than the trouble in his personal life.

Jongin decides to take a break since he’s getting nowhere. His legs begin to lose numbness as he stands, padding his way to the kitchen to see if there's any food (he doubts there is any, but that doesn't stop him from checking).  
  
"Stop avoiding me."

Jongin pulls his head out of the fridge to see Sehun standing at the entrance of the kitchen. He shuts the fridge slowly and tries to fight his emotions.

“I’m not.” It’s a lie.

“You’re lying.”

“Let me ask you something,” Jongin sighs and shuts the fridge. “You didn't tell Luhan, did you?”

“I didn't.” Sehun says after hesitating shortly.

“Are you ever going to tell him?”

“No.”  
  
“ _What?”_ Jongin tries to fight the anger rising in his chest. “Don't you feel bad?”

“I do.” Sehun looks surprisingly calm, face void of emotion. “But what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Look I really want to make things work with Luhan, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell him anything. Especially about us.”

Jongin’s eyebrows knit together and he balls his hands at his sides. “So we’re just going to pretend like none of this,” he motions a hand back and forth between them, “Ever happened?”

“Well, yeah. That's kind of the idea. I actually like Luhan.”

“Are you sure?” Jongin scoffs. “Did you like Luhan when you pinned me against the wall? When you said you didn't want to stop?”

“That meant nothing. I was in the moment.” Sehun’s face is calm, but his eyes are hard, voice sharper in comparison to the last time he spoke. “I don't understand why you're so riled up about this anyway, we were never a thing.”

He knew that they were never official, but Sehun confirming it makes everything that much more real.

“Yeol was right.” Jongin says.

“What?” Sehun frowns. “What does Chanyeol have to do with any of this?”

“I know what it’s like to be cheated on, Sehun. And let me tell you, it isn't a good time-” He was right from the start!”

“Jongin, what the fuck are you going on about?!-"

"Sehun you used me!” Jongin screams, and angry tears well in his eyes.  
  
"So what I did?!" Sehun fires back. "It was mutual wasn’t it? This wasn’t a one-sided thing, Jongin. You knew it from the start.”

“You threw me away once you met Luhan-”

"Don't try to play innocent, because you used me too.” Sehun hisses, stepping closer. He towers over Jongin, eyes piercing. “What are you going to do, Jongin? Cry to Chanyeol about it?"  
  
"What?" Jongin's voice is a little quieter but it doesn't stop Sehun from spitting fire.  
  
“You wonder why you were cheated on in the past? It's because you're _fucking_ _easy_ -"  He stops once he sees the look on Jongin's face.  
  
"Easy?" Jongin repeats. The hurt is clear in his voice even though it's barely above a whisper.  
  
"Jongin..." Sehun starts, immediately regretting his words. "That's not-"  
  
"It's fine." Jongin says and clears his throat. “Excuse me.” He brushes past Sehun but is jerked back by the grip on his wrist.

“Jongin, I didn't-”

“I said it was fine, didn’t I?” Jongin’s voice is firmer this time, but he doesn't face Sehun and tugs his wrist free. “I’m going out for a second, we have no food.”

Sehun lets go of his wrist and Jongin makes his way down the hall. Once the door closes Sehun runs an angry hand through his hair.

"Fuck."

 

_

 

Jongin really hopes that Chanyeol is home because he looks like shit and the little girl who lives next door is staring at him. He knocks again and the door opens a few moments later. It appears that Chanyeol’s just woken up; his robe isn’t undone and he rubs the sleep from his eyes despite it being past midday.

“Who the- Jongin?” Chanyeol is a little more awake now that he takes a look at who’s in front of him. 

“Hey.” Jongin says and his voice breaks a little.

“Come on,” Chanyeol ushers him inside and Jongin breathes in the familiarness of his house. He wraps Jongin in his robe and the look of concern doesn’t leave his face.

Jongin is given green tea and they’re seated in the living room, a rerun of last night’s drama fills in the gaps for when they don’t talk. “Can I stay here for a bit?” Jongin asks.

“Yeah, of course.” Chanyeol says without hesitation. “Did something happen with Sehun?”

Jongin hesitates. “Yeah.”

Chanyeol inhales. “What did he do?” Jongin shakes his head and Chanyeol sighs and decides that this isn’t the right time to ask.

 

It’s later in the evening when Jongin opens up and he cries into Chanyeol’s chest. Angry tears soak into the front Chanyeol’s shirt and he wipes the tears from Jongin’s eyes. The news drones on into the background and the linen scented candles that Chanyeol likes is pleasant despite the heavy atmosphere.

When walked in on Luhan and Sehun’s make-out session it was as if the fog in his mind had cleared, realising why there was an unpleasant feeling in his stomach; but at the same time, something shattered inside of him. There were supposed to be no strings attached, but all Jongin became was _attached_. He didn’t realise when he fell or how hard the thought of Sehun with someone else would hurt, but it does and - he feels numb.

“It hurts...” Jongin chokes on his words.

“I know.” Chanyeol smooths his hands over Jongin’s hair just like he used to when they were younger. He’s familiar and Jongin feels safe in his arms. “He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve the world, Jongin.”

Jongin looks up at him and Chanyeol’s eyes are as brown as Jongin remembers them. Concern is etched onto his features, brows furrowed and his lips are pulled into a light frown. Chanyeol is talking but his words aren’t processing. Jongin leans in and he hears Chanyeol say his name, but it doesn’t stop him.

He wants to forget.

Their lips touch. Jongin hears Chanyeol’s breath hitch and his eyes widen. He gasps and pulls away, embarrassment and fear are the only things he feels at the moment.

“I-” Jongin stutters. “I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“Jongin,” Chanyeol says.

“I should go,” Jongin stands and almost trips over his feet in the process. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“Jongin.” Chanyeol’s voice is firmer this time. “Listen to me,” he circles Jongin’s wrist with his hand and pulls Jongin into his arms. “It’s okay. I understand.”

Jongin’s chin is hooked over Chanyeol’s shoulder and his eyes begin to water again and the grip around his frame tightens.

 

__________

 

“You look like shit.” Jongdae compliments once Jongin walks into work.

Jongin shoots him a glare. He then sighs and hangs his head a little. “Sorry. It’s been a shit week.”

Although Jongdae is playful in nature, he knows when and when not to joke around. He gives Jongin a small smile before walking between their registers and giving him a hug. He awkwardly pats Jongin’s back twice before pulling away and cupping his shoulders with his hands. “I don’t know what it is - but I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, Jongdae.”

Jongdae grins and pulls away, walking back to his register and fixing the plastic bags as he speaks. “What happened?”

Jongdae’s become someone that Jongin is able to confide in and takes a moment to prepare himself before talking. “I had my heartbroken by my asshole of a roommate and kissed my best friend.”

“Oh,” Jongdae says. “Sorry to hear about that. But this best friend, does he like you?”

“He’s straight.”

“Oh, fuck.” Jongdae rubs his nape. “That makes things… complicated. Is everything okay with you guys though?”

“Yeah. I thought I made things weird, but it’s as if nothing happened.”

“Well that’s good at least.” Jongdae hums. “You want to get something to eat after this shift? My shout?” He offers.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah man,” Jongdae waves a hand at him. “You’ve had a tough week. It’s nothing.”

Jongin chuckles. “Thanks.

“Don’t mention it.”

 

“Jongin.” Jongdae says around half an hour later. There are few people in the store and Jongin hums sleepily to show that he’s listening. “Our single father is back.”

Jongin looks down aisle three and the man has returned. Deja vu sets in as he holds a box of coco pops in one hand and corn flakes in the other. He stares at the boxes rather intensely and a smile blossoms onto Jongin’s face. “He gets coco pops every time, why does he keep picking up the corn flakes when he decides against it anyway?”

“Who knows?” Jongdae shrugs. “But it’s fun to watch.”

Jongin agrees and it isn’t long before the man shelves the corn flakes. He guesses the latter sensed that someone was staring at him because he looks in the direction of the registers and makes eye contact with Jongin. He swears he sees a flicker of a smile on the man’s lips but before he can process it, he’s already disappeared down aisle three and into a different part of the store.

“Next.” Jongin says as he begins to open a plastic bag. He struggles to get the bag open, frowning as he blows angrily at his fringe with a small pout. He hears a small chuckle and looks up.

The man Jongdae dubbed as the ‘single father’ stands in front of him and seems amused by Jongin’s struggle. He finally gets the plastic open and begins to scan his items. Jongdae asks if he has two fives in his register and passes it over before continuing the task at hand, nodding along to the song that plays overhead as the basket begins to empty and the plastic bags begin to fill.

“Have a nice day.” Jongin says as the man collects his bags.

“Thanks,” It looks like he has something to say but hesitates and Jongin frowns.

“Is something the matter?”

“You look sad today.”

The sentence catches Jongin off guard and he pretends not to see Jongdae eavesdropping behind the gum rack. “Huh?”

“You don’t smile as much as you used to.”

Jongin pauses before he laughs dryly. “Sorry. It’s been… kinda tough lately.”

“Sorry to hear about that.” He gives Jongin a sad smile before rubbing at his nape with his free hand. “Would this be a bad time to ask when your shift ends?”

“What?” Jongin asks, confused. “My shift?”

“Yeah, I mean if you don’t want to it’s fine.”

“I don’t understand-”

“I think he wants to ask you out.” Comes the addition of Jongdae’s voice and Jongin’s eyes widen a little.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.” The man looks the side briefly. “Like I said you don’t have to, It’s completely fine if you-”

“He ends in half an hour.” Jongdae slings an arm around Jongin’s shoulders.

Jongin turns to face Jongdae. “What about hanging out after work ends?”

Jongdae nudges him in the side and whispers. “Come on man, this guy’s obviously interested. Why turn it down?” He grins before walking back to his register. “I’ll just ask Minseok if he wants to hang out. He needs to get out of the house anyway, all those games aren’t good for his eyes and I don’t know when was the last time he saw sunlight.”

“Is everything okay?” He asks and Jongin turns back to face him.

“Yeah.” Jongin says and plays with his fingers behind his back. “Everything’s fine. I um, yeah, I finish in a little bit.” he ends awkwardly and a smile blossoms into the man’s face.

 

Yixing is a dancer. He’s toured the world but now prefers the feeling of familiarity and settling down in the city is something he’s considering because he likes a busy atmosphere. He’s a man of many talents but is too modest to own up to them.

“Every time you come to the store you always decide between coco pops and cornflakes. But you never choose the cornflakes.” Jongin says.

Yixing laughs. “I always try to start a diet, but coco pops are too good.”

“They’re for you?” Jongin raises a brow. “It’s usually mothers who buy this for their kids.”

“Am I not allowed to enjoy a chocolate milkshake but only crunchy?” He almost looks offended.

“You know,” Jongin begins. “Jongdae likes to make stories up about out customers.”

“Was there one about me?”

Jongin hums. “Yeah. You were a single father to a little girl.”

“It’s not a lie.” Yixing says with a serious voice and Jongin stops walking.

“What?”

Yixing laughs and his eyes crease at the corners. “I’m joking, I’m joking. I don’t have kids.”

Jongin exhales and his lips pull into a frown. He huffs a, “Not funny,” and Yixing bumps his shoulder with his own with a small chuckle in response.

 

__________

 

Jongin’s overstayed his welcome at Chanyeol’s house and even though the latter insists that it’s fine, Jongin assures him that it’s fine and that he can handle things on his own. Chanyeol is reluctant but doesn’t argue, telling Jongin that his door is always and open even though Jongin knows very well that Chanyeol is there for him. Jongin is thankful for Yixing too. They’ve been hanging out for a while now and Jongin enjoys Yixing’s company; the tender look in his eyes and the slight accent that lingers in his voice.

The night is young, sun just dipping past the horizon and the sky melts into a mix of purple and pink hues as well as something darker. The streets are busy, atmosphere lively and they’re trying to burn off the burgers they ate not too long ago. Yixing’s fingers thread through his own and although they’re not exactly ‘dating’, Jongin enjoys the skinship and warmth that transfers into his hand from Yixing’s palm.

“Want to get something to drink?” Yixing suggests after some time, squeezing Jongin’s hand to get his attention.

“Yeah, I could go for something.”

Yixing hums and looks around. “There's a bubble tea shop down the street. What about that?”

Jongin bites the inside of his cheek and exhales. “Yeah sure.”

They maneuver their way through the stream of people who are also making most of the night and Jongin follows along as they walk. He’s a few paces behind Yixing and when they stop, so does Jongin’s breath. It's the same bubble tea shop he and Sehun used to frequent.

“Hey,” Jongin tugs lightly at Yixing’s hand. He continues talking after Yixing turns around. “Is it alright if I wait outside?”

Yixing tilts his head to the side slightly before letting go of his hand. “Okay. I’ll be back in a bit. What do you want?”

“Surprise me.” Jongin says with a light shrug and Yixing chuckles before entering the store.

Jongin leans against the brick and looks out onto the street. The sky is darker than he last remembers it being and happy chatter filters through his ears. He pulls his phone from his pocket and he has two unread messages from Chanyeol and one from Kyungsoo asking when he’s free next. He doesn't reply to either and slides his phone back into his pocket with a sigh.

“Jongin?” comes a hesitant voice and Jongin’s head whips around to find the owner.

“Hey, Luhan.” Jongin says after a moment.

“How have you been?” There’s a look of sympathy in Luhan’s eyes that Jongin doesn't like.

“I’m alright.”

“I haven’t seen you around recently.”

“Yeah I’ve been staying with a friend for a couple of weeks.” He says and lets his eyes wander to Luhan’s hair. It's lighter; an ash brown that compliments his features. “Are you with Sehun at the moment?”

Luhan appears to be stunned by the question. “Yeah… He’s inside ordering drinks.”

“He’s always liked bubble tea.”

“You're right.” Luhan chuckles. “What about you? Are you alone?”

“I’m not. I’m with a… friend.”

Luhan draws in a breath. “Jongin, I-”

“Hey, I hope you like taro because that's what I- Oh, hello.” Yixing bows slightly after he exits the store, bubble tea in hand and he looks back and forth between them. “Who’s this?”

“Taro’s great. Thanks Yixing.” He takes the drink from his hand, taking a sip before talking again. “This is Luhan.”

A smile quirks onto Luhan’s face before a string of Mandarin leaves his lips and Yixing chuckles before replying.

“It’s been a while I’ve met anyone from home.” Yixing laughs lightly.

“Likewise.”

Jongin tenses when he sees the familiarness of Sehun’s figure walk up behind Luhan. “They ran out of lychee so I got you something else.”

“Yeah, that's fine.” Luhan gives him a smile before taking the drink.

Sehun looks past Luhan and his brow raises a little. “Jongin?”

“Hey.” Jongin says quietly and his heart beats loud in his ears, the grip on his drink tightens a little.

“Where have you been?”

“Chanyeol let me crash his place for a bit.”

Sehuns lips pull into a frown at the mention of Chanyeol’s name. Jongin looks down and his hand searches for Yixing’s, fingers linking together when he does.

Yixing is confused but doesn't question it and it's clear that Luhan is also uncomfortable by the situation. Sehun’s frown deepens at the sight of their interlocked hands. “Jongin, can we talk?-”

“I’m kind of hungry again, can we get something to eat?” Jongin speaks over him and Yixing sees the panic in his eyes.

“Yeah, sure.” He glances back at Luhan and Sehun. “I think this is where we part ways. It was nice meeting you guys.” and it’s Yixing who leads them away from the bubble tea shop.

 

They walk slowly and Jongin’s fringe falls into his eyes as he hangs his head. Yixing hasn't said anything in a while but his hand never leaves Jongin’s.

“I’m sorry.” Jongin says quietly.

“Why are you sorry?” Yixing asks.

“I didn’t mean to ruin tonight…”

Yixing stops and turns so that they're face to face. “You didn't ruin anything. Why would you think that?”

Jongin looks up and his eyes are wet, brimmed with tears and his chest hurts. Everything hurts, but he doesn't want to cry. “I’m sorry.” He says because he doesn't know what else to say.

Yixing looks hurt and his lips thin. He steps closer and cups Jongin’s face with his hands. Jongin’s feeling a million things at once and barely registers the feeling of Yixing’s lips slant over his own in a gentle movement.

They’re standing in the middle of the walkway and there are people staring at them but he releases a shuddery exhale when Yixing pulls away. He pulls Jongin into a firm hug that reminds him of Chanyeol. “It’s okay.” He whispers into Jongin’s hair.

 

__________

 

They don't bring up what has happened and continue hanging out as they usually do. Jongin doesn't really know what he is with Yixing and he’s too scared to define what they are. He’s scared of falling into the same pattern as he did with Sehun.

The movie they're watching doesn't really grasp Jongin’s attention although he chose it. His legs are thrown across Yixing’s lap and it’s the first time he's at the apartment.

Jongin studies his face; from the sharp line of his jaw, down the column of his neck Jongin tilts his head a little 

Yixing turns to look at him. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.” He says and looks back toward the television.

Yixing chuckles and turns Jongin’s head back toward himself. “Has anyone ever told you that you're a horrible liar, Jongin?”

“I can't remember.”

Yixing leans in but hesitates. “Is this okay?”

Jongin breathes in, and then out. “Yes.”

The kiss is chaste, soft, and Jongin’s eyelids flutter shut. Yixing’s hand is warm on his cheek and Jongin lets himself be moved so that he’s lying on his back.

Yixing’s hand moves down to Jongin’s hip as he prods at the seam of Jongin’s lips with his tongue. Jongin meets him halfway and allows Yixing’s tongue to slide against his own before it moves deep past his lips.

Yixing’s touch sets fire to Jongin’s skin. Jongin hasn’t felt desire in a long time, but he can’t help but react to Yixing’s ministrations; the way his fingers leave burning paths down his sides which he then smooths into the indentations of his ribcage and over the plane of his stomach. Yixing’s name leaves Jongin’s lips in a hushed whisper, a silent mantra as he pulls him closer. There’s lust in Yixing’s eyes, a warm brown mixed with something darker. They’re searching, testing to see if he can continue - and he waits.

“It’s okay,” His blush is hidden by the darkness. “I’m okay. Keep going." 

Yixing kisses just like his personality, gentle and he caresses Jongin’s cheek with a soft hand. He combs his fingers through the brown mess of Jongin’s hair and Jongin follows suit and feels up the shaved sides of Yixing’s hair before circling his hands around his neck.

Light illuminates the darkness behind Jongin’s eyelids and is temporarily blinded when his eyes flutter open. Yixing’s confused and looks to the entranceway to the lounge. Jongin sits up a little and looks in the direction to where Yixing’s eyes are focused.

A wave of nostalgia washes Jongin as he stares back at Sehun. He thinks back to the time when he found Luhan and Sehun in this exact position; except now the roles have been reversed. He’s not sure on what to do or how how Sehun will react.

Sehun’s face is blank, but Jongin knows him too well. Tension settles into the atmosphere and Jongin’s breathing has yet to even out. He expects Sehun to react, for the anger behind his irises to erupt.

But Sehun says nothing. His expression is as blank as it was in the beginning. He looks over their position once more before exiting the room and Jongin exhales.

“Isn't that?-” Yixing asks, confused.

“Yeah,” Jongin says quietly and slides out from under Yixing to sit next to him; the mood not quite the same as it was prior to Sehun’s arrival. “My roommate.”

“Is it complicated between you guys?”

“Yeah.”

Yixing nods. His hands are warm over Jongin’s, but he doesn’t say anything after that.

 

Yixing decides that Jongin needs some space and leaves the apartment and kisses Jongin’s forehead tenderly. Jongin spends some time in his room, reblogging some dry humor and relatable romance posts before he gets up to get some water. What he doesn't expect is for Sehun to be in the kitchen.

He contemplates on leaving, but his throat is beginning to feel dry.

It’s Sehun who speaks first.

“How long have you been seeing-”

“Yixing.” Jongin finishes the sentence for him.

“Yixing.” Sehun repeats, although his tone is slightly bitter.

“A month, maybe. Maybe a little more than that.” Jongin says as he pulls his sleeves over his hands, bunching his fingers into the fabric.

“He seems nice.”

“He is.”

The conversation dies out after that. Despite living in the same household for years, an awkward silence settles into the air and Jongin misses their closeness.

“That’s great.” Sehun says quietly. “I’m glad that you’re happy, Jongin.”

“Thanks…”

Sehun turns to leave for his room and perhaps a small part of Jongin wishes he’d go to his room instead.

 

_

 

They're running low on supplies and Jongin takes it upon himself to restock the pantry and uses it as an excuse to get out of the apartment. And although he could easily walk to his work, he’d really rather not go there when he’s not working an opts for walking a little bit further.

Living in the city does have its perks, which includes the numerous convenience stores strategically placed between busy streets. The shopping bag aren’t heavy in Jongin’s hands so he decides to stop by a small cafe to procrastinate in heading home.

The cafe is warm, pleasant and Jongin breathes in the smell of arabica and cocoa powder. The line is fairly long but doesn’t mind waiting and looks up to the speakers hanging from the ceiling and likes the soft jazz that plays overhead and thinks that it’s rather fitting. He lets out a quiet sigh and shifts on his feet, freezing when he hears a familiar voice at the front of the line. Jongin looks past the people in front of him and he sees the familiar brown of Luhan’s hair. He contemplates in leaving but he’s already close the front and just hopes that Luhan doesn’t see him. 

Luhan’s order is called a few minutes later, it looks like he’s having his drink in-store, and Jongin tries to hide behind the person in front of him when Luhan walks past. It’s a poor attempt in not being seen since the person in front of him doesn’t even reach his shoulders and he hears Luhan call his name.

“Jongin?”

Jongin draws in a breath and turns. “Hey.”

The line moves forward a little and when Jongin steps forward again, Luhan speaks. “Can we talk?”

As much as Jongin hates confrontation, he agrees and they’re seated in the corner of the shop; by the window where they can look at the people who walk past. They don’t talk for a bit, just sitting in each other’s presence and Jongin busies himself by feeling across the stitching of his jeans.

“He misses you, you know?” Is the first thing that Luhan says and Jongin looks up instantly.

“What?”

“I can tell,” Luhan says and looks out the window. Jongin doesn't know what to say so he remains silent. The coffee is bitter and he wets over his lips with his tongue. By now Luhan’s eyes are away from the window and back onto him. His eyes look sad. “Do you miss him?”

“I,” Jongin pauses for a long time, not being good with confrontation. “I do…”

Luhan chuckles. “I thought so.” He gives Jongin a small smile as he picks up the mug and holds it in his hands, taking a sip before he talks again. “I'm not going to lie, Jongin, I was a little jealous.” Luhan finishes with a chuckle.

“Jealous?”

“Mhm,” Luhan hums into his mug. “You and Sehun have this chemistry that I didn't understand when we first met; a natural closeness that I couldn’t quite comprehend. I thought it was strange since you were only roommates.”

“I don't understand what you’re trying to say.”

“Despite Sehun’s resting bitch face, he’s quite easy to read if you’ve been around him for long enough - which I’m sure you’re aware of.” Luhan seems pleased at the small chuckle he draws from Jongin. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I brushed it off at first, but it's not that easy.”

Jongin doesn't know where Luhan is going with this and settles for listening because it seems that Luhan has a lot to say.

“We were about to have sex once. But before we could get any further, he said your name instead of mine.” Luhan’s voice is rather calm in comparison to the slight pain in his eyes. “I remember the look on his face too. He was shocked, but then I saw regret on his face. I think he realised he fucked up; but not with me - with you.”

The only thing Jongin can think to say is, “I’m sorry.”

Luhan laughs and Jongin is confused. “Why are you sorry? If anything, you should be thanking me. I think now Sehun’s realised what he wants.”

They part ways and Luhan promises to keep in touch despite everything that happened. Jongin feels a little empty at his next thought; and almost doesn't dial the number on screen. But Luhan’s words ring in his ears: ‘You have to stop running, Jongin’.

Yixing’s voice makes him want to hang up. _“Hey, Jongin. What's up?”_

“Hey…” Jongin says. “Are you free? I need to um, talk about something.”

Yixing is understanding; and even if he is hurt by Jongin’s decision to break things off, he does a good job in hiding it. Jongin feels bad, so horrible but just like Luhan, Yixing kind of expected it.

He says he has no regrets, though, and wishes Jongin all the best; and that maybe after all this has blown over, they could be friends. Jongin can't bring himself to say no.

Yixing’s always been gentle; from his eyes, touch, and the way his lips press against Jongin’s - even if it is for the last time. Maybe they could have worked out under different circumstances, but the world works in strange ways and Jongin doesn't know what’s going to happen when he gets home.

 

__________

 

Sehun hasn’t had Luhan over in a long while and Jongin’s stopped counting the days he has since it does nothing but add to his anxiety. His stomach plummets when he remembers Luhan’s words and he’s heard rumors from mutual friends that Sehun’s stopped seeing Luhan altogether and he’s more than certain that he’s the reason for it. Jongin not sure on how to face him and it could just be Sehun's nonchalant personality, but he spends more time in his room than what Jongin remembers.  
  
The apartment is quiet and Jongin's in the middle of pouring milk into his cereal when he hears the fridge being opened. It's as if he hasn't seen Sehun in years despite living in the same apartment and he stares a little.  
  
Jongin clears his throat when Sehun realises that he was staring. "You're home."  
  
"Yeah." Sehun says, closing the fridge after taking out the carton of orange juice. "Where else would I be?"  
  
"I, um-" Jongin turns around to reach for a spoon, back facing Sehun. "I heard you stopped seeing Luhan."  
  
There's a long pause before Sehun replies. "I did."  
  
"Oh." Jongin turns around. "Sorry to hear about that-"  
  
Sehun is in front of him; hair still disarray from having woken up recently. Jongin tilts his head up to meet Sehun's eyes; mind going blank, his train of thought derailed as he stares back. Sehun's eyes are searching, gaze unwavering and Jongin feels the heat rising to his cheeks.  
  
"Why did you do it?" It's the softest Jongin's ever heard him speak, voice barely above a whisper, contradicting the sharpness of his eyes. "Why did you kick Luhan out that night?"  
  
"I don't know." Jongin whispers back.  
  
Sehun leans forward slightly so he can look directly into his eyes. "Why did you do it?" He asks again.  
  
"I don't know." It's a lie because Jongin does know, but he doesn't want to admit it. Instead, he asks a question of his own. "Did you stop seeing Luhan because of me?”  
  
"Yes." Sehun says.

“Why? I thought you liked-”  
  
"It wasn't the same." Sehun interrupts. "Don't get me wrong I like Luhan, but it's not the same.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's not the same.” Sehun pauses and looks down. When he talks again, he looks up and there’s vulnerability in his eyes. “Kissing Luhan isn't like kissing you."

Jongin tries not to let his voice shake. “What’s it like kissing Luhan?”

“Nice.”

Jongin takes a second to compose himself. “What’s it like,” He begins, trying to ignore the vulnerability in his chest. “Kissing me?”

Sehun doesn't look fazed the slightest and takes a step forward; caging Jongin against the kitchen counter, hands on either side of his hips. “Warm.” is the first thing Sehun says and steps further into Jongin’s space. “Kissing you is like home.” He takes a long pause and his features soften. “And that was something Luhan couldn't give me.”

"But didn't you sleep with Luhan?" Jongin says into the space between them, their faces centimeters apart. It’s been a while since he’s looked at Sehun properly and his eyes linger onto the scar over his cheek.

"We didn't get that far.” Sehun says truthfully and a weight is lifted off Jongin’s chest.

“I see…” The words die out in Jongin’s throat as Sehun kisses him. Gentle. Sehun is gentle and he sighs against Jongin’s skin.

“I couldn’t do it.” Sehun exhales. “I could never bring myself to.” He pauses and rests his forehead against Jongin’s, eyes staring down at their feet. “What I said before - I didn't mean any of it-”

Jongin brings his arms up to loop around Sehun’s neck to pull him closer. He shakes his head and it’s an open invitation for Sehun to kiss him, so he does.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun says between breaths. “I’m stupid for saying those things-”

“Not now.” Jongin whispers against his lips. “I don’t want your apology now.” He looks up at Sehun with almost pleading eyes, and his fingers grip tighter into Sehun’s hair. “Touch me.”

Sehun lifts Jongin up onto the counter, hands edge past the hem of his shirt and settle on his hips and breathes Jongin in. The afternoon light is warm on their skin and Jongin circles his arms around Sehun’s neck.

He lets his head fall back and it hits the cupboard behind him as Sehun mouths down his neck. He sucks at the dip between his shoulder and neck and a moan slips past Jongin’s lips. Sehun stops. He looks up and Jongin is fixated onto the at the way Sehun’s eyes darken, the way his pupils dilate.

“I want you.” Sehun’s voice is deep in his ears, speaking without hesitation and a shiver races down Jongin's spine. 

Jongin breathes in deep, looking at Sehun with hooded eyes. “Have me.”

 

The sheets are unmade and there’s a pile of textbooks in the corner that’s pushed onto the floor as Sehun lays Jongin down onto the mattress.

It’s been long. It’s been so long since they’ve been intimate and Jongin looks up to see Sehun staring down at him. Sehun’s eyes are gentle and he runs a hand through Jongin’s hair before he cups Jongin’s cheek. He presses a chaste kiss against Jongin’s lips whispering an _‘i’ll take care of you’_ as they part and Jongin watches Sehun pull his singlet over his head.

He bunches Jongin’s shirt at his armpits, too impatient to get the fabric off of his frame and wastes no time in working his mouth down Jongin’s chest; tongue running down heated skin, over his hardening nipples and toward his navel. Heat rises in the room and Sehun runs his tongue above Jongin’s waistband before pulling his pants down his legs slowly.

Jongin’s more than hard once Sehun gets his pants off and the latter’s eyes are fixated on his erect length which causes precome to leak from the slit. Sehun says nothing and licks it away, his name leaves Jongin’s lips in a high whine.

He pulls away and looks over Jongin’s debauched state, the way his hair is matted to his forehead, blush deep in his cheeks and the light sheen of sweat on his skin that makes him glow in the light of the afternoon.

“Please…” Jongin whispers.

Sehun leans over him to reach for the bedside table, searching for lubricant and growls because he’s impatient. Once he finds it he’s back over Jongin and his legs spread wider for Sehun to fit between them. Sehun’s already got his fingers with lubricant but before they reach Jongin’s entrance, the latter stops him. Jongin takes the bottle into his hands and coats his fingers liberally. He doesn’t meet Sehun’s eyes, although he can feel them on his skin and his fingers trail down.

When Jongin pushes two fingers in at once his back arches a little, trying to stop a moan from slipping through as he curls his fingers on the drag out. “I do this a lot,” Jongin says, looking off to the side and not at anything in particular as he slides in a third. “I think about you.”

Sehun says nothing and works his lubricant slick hand on his cock, groaning at the way Jongin’s fingers disappear into his body. With a grip on Jongin’s wrist, Sehun retracts Jongin’s fingers.

“Enough,” Sehun breathes. “That’s enough.”

Sehun’s cock is heavy between his legs, curved toward his stomach but it hangs heavy from the weight and Jongin’s moans at the sight. He winces when Sehun pushes past his entrance, sliding in until he’s balls deep and his fingers wring into the sheets. Sehun moves Jongin’s hands so that they’re over his head as he rocks his hips forward.

Sehun lets his forehead rest against Jongin’s as he slides his palm into Jongin’s, letting their fingers tangle as their bodies roll together. Jongin raises his hips to meet his thrusts, the pace gradually increasing as instinct takes over, as if months of being apart never happened.

Jongin’s moans are loud, body trembling from the pleasure that courses through his veins. Sehun wraps Jongin’s leg over his hip, angle changing and the head of his cock drives into Jongin’s prostate. He chokes out a sob and the tears that cling to his eyelashes stream down into his hairline. Sehun licks into his mouth and groans when Jongin clenches around him.

Jongin breaks from the kiss pants hot air against Sehun’s skin and bites into his shoulder as he comes. Jongin pants into the space between them, whining from oversensitivity as Sehun’s pace quickens as he tries to finish himself off. Jongin brings a hand up to pinch at Sehun’s nipple and Sehun throws his head back as he comes. He pulls out and Jongin’s breathing is deep, yet to even out and Sehun whispers, “Sleep.”

 

 _

 

Jongin wakes up to Sehun looking back at him. He’s startled that Jongin’s awake and pulls him closer with the arm he has around his waist.

“Everything okay?” Jongin asks, voice still laced with sleep.

“I’m sorry.” Sehun says.

“I am too.”

Minutes pass and they continue to lie in each other’s presence and Jongin’s fingers play with Sehun’s hair absentmindedly.

“I love you.” Sehun says and his eyes widen as process what he’s said.

Jongin is a little more awake now. “What?”

Sehun’s expression is calm and his voice is collected. “I love you.”

Jongin stops breathing for a moment and he takes time to take it in. He’s overwhelmed and curls further into Sehun’s chest, whispering the sentiment back into his skin. “I love you too.”

 

-

 

Jongin’s legs are thrown over Sehun’s, laptop resting on his thighs as Sehun attempts to beat a boss battle in Twilight Princess. “If Chanyeol didn’t like me before, he’s going to hate me now.” Sehun says and Jongin laughs a little. “

“Yeol’s a good guy. He’ll come around, don’t worry.” Jongin says as he reblogs snippets from the latest episode of Pokemon. “And if not, I’ll make him.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday 
> 
> Twitter: @sezhangs


End file.
